Today, I felt very tired probably because of my lower back pain and neck pain. Horrible...
However, no matter what I need to study for my ochem and finish my essay on nutrition. I do actually like writing sometimes. It is just that I am not able to write well so I am kinda ashame of my own writing. But I am open to criticism which helps me to improve eventually.
V day was once my favorite because I could spend this day with the special someone. However, after that V day, I didnt feel the same. It was just so horrible that I felt like at the time that I did not have anyone there for me. He filled me with such painful memories that I do not or cannot really enjoy this day. Well, I guess for now, it does not matter to me since I am single.
I really hate him telling me that he did not try anything, or excused himself for doing something because he could not do it while he was just not willing to do it. Sure, it is his life. He chooses to do what he wants....
Why can't I ever understand that. IT is HIS LIFE.

Blogging again

Haven't been blogging for a long time. Even though I am not a fan of writing, I still want to get my thoughts down... Lately, I have been in an unstable stage, for which I mean emotionally. The past memories have overwhlemed me with the negative energy. I want to find a way out so that I do not need to feel bad, sad or jealous of anyone. I mean I always tell myself that to not go for what other people tell me but to trust my own instinct. I live for myself and not for others, esp not for those who hurt me. I don't know ...I always want to be myself and do what I want but not others want, which is hard in this society because everyone seems to have an eye on you picking at your mistakes and imperfection. I wish I lived in a society where there was no judgement, where people were always happy and polite. Obviously, it is a wishful thinking and I do not believe this would ever happen.
I seem to have a lot in my mind, where I could not really clearly spell them out.... I guess next time if I have something to say, I will just go ahead and type it so I will not lose my thought and I will hopefully have a clear point on what I am talking about.